Stuck on Repeat

Sometimes I repeat things to myself
Thinking that maybe I’ll believe it, hell…
It must be true, that’s what everyone says
But it feels like a thought made asleep in bed
Where did one reality end?
And the other begin?
Will it tie up the loose ends of my shattered mind?
Or will it blur the lines between monsters and mankind?
Where and when does my story start?
And where or if…will the sequel take part?
Repeat…I’m stuck on Repeat, like a broken record
Repeating the words I have so frequently heard.
You’re stronger than this…yes you are
You’re stronger than this…you will go far…
You’re stronger than this…I said it, it must be true
You’re stronger than this…I wouldn’t lie to you.
I’m weak, and battered…where’s the hope?
When everything’s hanging on an aging rope.
Where did the time go? We had so much
It must’ve been yesterday! I see it as such.
Smiles…laughter…wasn’t that yesterday?
Just this morning I swear I heard you say-
Say it again, would you, for me?
Just one more time so I won’t have to repeat…
I’m stronger than this…Yes I am.
I’m stronger than this… Don’t need a man…
I’m stronger than this… I said it, but don’t believe
I’m stronger than this… So why do I grieve?
I am…in the midst of this fight…I am
Barely holding on
I am…weather I believe it or not…I am
But it’s rich despising you, I can’t let that go
It gives me joy to hate you so
Least…that’s how it feels right to this day
My vision only see’s you in shades of gray.
Scream as I may, I’m not going anywhere
Run, though I try, I’ll never get there!
I’ll just cry and fall. Why not? I do it so well.
For putting myself through misery and hell
What does it mean to be strong?
To know how to carry on?
What does it mean to be strong?
To never be the pawn?
What does it mean to be strong?
To always step towards the dawn?
What does it mean to be strong?
To cry alone when life’s done you wrong…
I don’t think there is such thing as real strength
Not when misery has no predetermined length
You either survive…or you don’t
You either get out…or you won’t
I’ve forgotten what I’m fighting for
I’ve lost the path to that door
OH WELL! Who cares!
I’ll dance anywhere!
But here I dance with memories
My fiery, unforgiving history
Dancing in circles…the same ole dance
Step in step in a dazzling trance
One day I’ll no longer stand the heat
Till then I’ll smile while I dance
Stuck on repeat.


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